APRIL FITTINGS or, Why Jake Reed's Ghost Rubs his Hands in Glee

When Jacob Reed and Company
Arrives with tape and chalk,
They'll sign you up for uniforms
As fast as they can talk,
They've had your measurements for years
(Who made your ones and twos?)
And now they're eager to provide
Your greens and whites and blues.

For officers must buy their own,
And brother, has it costed--
Before you're done with all you need,
Your bank account's exhausted.
The uniforms just head the list,
Then come "accessories",
There's gloves and belts and shirts and ties,
And green utilities,

And coats and caps and shoes and socks,
Insignia as well,
Old Jakey Reed's observing
From his tailor shop in Hell--
He rubs his hands so rapidly
(And don't call me a liar,
I got this straight from Old Nick's imps)
He sets his cuffs on fire.

RR 4-7-09